Thursday, February 25, 2010

I Made the First Cut!

I made the first cut in the Breakthrough Novel contest. My heart was racing as I checked the list for my name. To be completely honest I wasn't expecting to make it. When I saw my name I started to tear up. I actually cried. I have never cried from being so happy. It was awesome and I was home by myself. I got to share in the moment with no one but I didn't mind. It was like my own personal moment were I could be proud of my accomplishment. I called my parents once I stopped the cryfest. It couldn't have worked out any better either since they both picked up the phone. I was able to tell both my mom and dad at the same time. At this point if I don't make it to the next round I will still be happy at how far I have come. I mean I hope I make it to the next round but if I don't I will not be bitter.

I am almost finished with Part 1 of my third book, Nothing is Forever. I wrote a chapter and a half yesterday at work. (The one plus side of working in an office that has a dead season.) The writers block has been hitting me hard lately. I can go a day to almost three days without writing a thing. That is not like me at all. I try to write every day. I know what I want to write I just sometimes have a hard time getting it into words and on paper. It also amazes me how i start writing and my characters take on a mind of their own and start going in a completely different direction than what I had planned. I like where the characters are taking me though. I'm really proud of the third book. I think it deals with many issues that teenagers have to deal with especially in the parent department.

I'm going to finish my celebratory glass of wine and watch American Idol now. I can't wait to see who they cut even though I think I already know. My favorite right now is Lee, the guy with the black glasses his last name is Garcia, Alex Lambert, The dreadlock girl (can't remember her name) and Casey Johnson. I have to disagree with the judges I think the guys are better than the girls this year.

Monday, February 15, 2010

The Cost of Being Happy.

I'm twenty five but when I hear the forecast and it calls for snow I am twelve all over again. I hope and pray that it will be enough snow to get me a snow day. I go to school twice a week and have just started this semester yet I am hoping tomorrow I will be granted another snow day. I was lucky enough last week that mother nature decided to reek havoc but I doubt I will be as lucky tomorrow. I spent two days last week on my couch catching up on movies. It was the best two days. Sometimes you really just need to do nothing. However I have been doing a lot of nothing lately. I blame it on my lack of funds. I know I can go out and find things to do that are free and/or cost relatively nothing but I don't have the drive to do so. I miss the days when I lived at home. My paycheck was exactly that Mine. I didn't have to divide it out for rent, cable, electric and the numerous credit cards I now have. I lived the high life back then. Taking in Broadway shows, Concerts, Museums, weekend trips anything that my heart desired. Now I find myself not wanting to leave the confides of my apartment. If I go out I will spend money. Money that I don't have. Atleast that is my reasoning and I honestly believe it. I miss the life I used to live and I hate the fact that I so casually took it for granted. I think about how I could have put a little bit of my paycheck away. Even if it meant skipping one concert. I'm happy I got to experience all of that stuff as most people that age don't. However it set me up for a life of disappointment to follow. I was so used to being able to go and do whatever I wanted that now I get depressed everytime I can't go to the latest Broadway show. I was truly happy at that point in my life. Now not so much. I miss those days more than I can convey. I only hope that I am able to find that happiness again. Do you think I will be able to find it without the money I was once so used to? Is it possible to be happy when you are completely broke? Is happiness really up to you? Or are there more factors? As I prepare for another storm from mother nature I am conflicted. On one hand I hope she provides enough of the white stuff to keep me home from school. On the other hand I hope she doesn't and the snow on the ground melts. Warmer days come my way and I am able to get off the couch and start living my life again. I would love to just go to the park and swing on a swing without the fear of frostbite. Walk the beach without the wind belting me with sand. Go to the local zoo up the road from my house that doesn't cost a penny to enter. If I could have any of them all of which are free I think I would be happy again. So maybe I don't need money to be happy. I just need to stop wishing for mother nature to give me another excuse to sit on the couch.