Monday, June 14, 2010

Today I recieved another rejection email and while this whole time I've been numb to the rejections this time it actually hurt a little. For some reason this particular agency I had a good feeling when sending out my query but obviously that good feeling was for nothing. I sent out another five queries today and hopefully I will hear some good news. Like I always say it's just another step in the process and I will continue writing until my fingers can no longer type.

I've read another sixty pages of Evernight hopefully tonight I can finish it. I have every intention of doing so. So far so good. I will go into it further when I actually finish the book. An ending of a book even if it is part of a series can kill an entire book for me. The best example of this is Dear John by Nicholas Sparks. I have never been so mad at the way a book ended and I kept saying he has to make a sequel. Not to mention he always kills someone off in his books and the one time you want him to do so he doesn't. As mean as that sounds it's how I honestly felt.

I'll leave you with another excerpt from my book Forever Yours:

“It would get boring and you know it would. Eventually you would be begging for days filled with drama. Drama keeps things exciting.” No sooner than Emma let those words flow from her lips they heard a commotion taking place just on the other side of the fence. Emma looked at Lisa with curious eyes and then they both jumped up eager to see what was going on.

As they approached the fence Lisa could hear Steve’s voice loud and clear. Once they made their way onto the other side of the fence they could see Mark holding Steve back as Steve viciously tried to get out of Mark’s monster grip.

Across from Mark and Steve was George who was cowardly hiding behind Renee. Steve was now yelling at Mark to let him go. Lisa looked at him his face was filled with rage his eyes boiling with anger. Lisa knew as soon as Mark lost his hold Steve would attack and Renee was his little sister they went at it all the time he wouldn’t care if he pushed passed her. So Lisa did the only thing she could think of. She stood in between the two opposing sides with her arms out to them. Steve wouldn’t lunge at George if she was standing there he would never do anything that could potentially get her hurt.

“What the hell is going on here?” Emma finally spoke as Lisa took her position.

“George is a dead man as soon as I get to him.” Steve continued to try and free himself from Mark’s grip but he couldn’t. Lucky for George Mark was an all state wrestling champion and he had his holds down to a science.

“No he’s not. I’ll kill you first.” Renee spit back. George was still crouching behind Renee which was quite pathetic since she was all of five foot and he was teetering towards six.

“That’s not explaining anything.” Emma yelled out.

“Steve!” Lisa demanded his attention. Her arms fell to her sides and she looked him in the eyes. His seething calmed and his eyes cooled as he looked back at her. “What’s going on?” As Steve composed himself Mark felt it was safe to let him go so he did but he still stayed close just in case.

“I don’t know exactly. But what I do know is I come home from fishing and I find my baby sister making out with my so called best friend.”

“What?” Emma yelled out her attention now on Renee. Lisa’s eyes displayed her disbelief but she had to stay focused or Steve would definitely kill George.

“Renee is this true?” Lisa turned her head but kept her body in place to continue the separation between the two sides.

“Yeah so what? We’re seeing each other.” Renee said it in her typical so matter of factly way.

“How long has this been going on?” Emma asked.

“Since Easter.”

“Since Easter?!?!?” Emma yelled out. Lisa turned and saw the rage beginning to boil in Steve’s eyes again.

“Well Mark and Steve were away at school and you’re always so busy with Devin now, and Kristin’s been helping her grandma out around the house and I really didn’t have anyone so we started hanging out with each other and one thing just led to another.”

“Since Easter?” Emma reiterated.

“I love her.” George poked his head out from behind Renee before yelling out to Steve.

“No you don’t.” Steve yelled back.

“Yes he does and I love him too.” Renee shrieked. Everyone was in complete and utter shock. It had been going on for months and no one picked up on it.

“You don’t know what love is. You’re too young.”

“Oh and like you do? Because if you really knew what love is you wouldn’t have thrown it away like you did.” Steve dropped his head too ashamed to look anyone in the eyes. Lisa knew she had to stop this back and forth bickering. She couldn’t stand in between Steve and Renee and George forever.

Lisa turned back to Steve. His head was still hung but she continued to look towards him and then his eyes found hers effortlessly as if they belonged together. The rage was still evident on his face but at the sight of Lisa the rage faded and disappointment became dominant.

“So what if there dating?” She finally said as calmly and as reasonable as she possibly could.

“She’s my little sister and he’s well he’s supposed to be one of my best friends.”

“Things happen you can’t deny feelings. Look at us for example. You’re Emma’s brother and she’s my best friend and that didn’t stop us.”

“Yeah and look how well that turned out.” Steve snapped and instantly regretted the words that came out. The tension had faded around them but now every person involved had their attention focused on Steve. Steve looked at the shock and disbelief on everyone’s face and knew it no longer had to do with Renee and George but with him.

Lisa’s eyes glassed over. She went to speak but words didn’t come instead she walked away. Abandoning her post as peacemaker.

“Lisa I didn’t mean it that way.” Steve attempted to explain but it was useless.

“Nice. Real nice.” Emma said to Steve and then took off after Lisa.

Lisa ran out of the yard and down the street. She sat on the side of the road just as she did on the day that Steve broke up with her. The pain she was feeling was as if he broke up with her all over again. He made it seem that what they had wasn’t worth anything at all. The tears poured over her lids and she sobbed into her hands.

Lisa felt an arm come around her shoulders just as she did a year ago. It was Emma comforting her and being the best friend that she could be. Emma handed Lisa a lit cigarette and she looked up at her with a smile. Lisa took the orange of the filter in between her lips and took a drag. Lisa could always count on Emma.

“You ok?” Emma asked.

“I will be.”

“I guess we can forget about all that talk earlier of me saying how you still had feelings for him. I mean how could you? He’s an asshole.”

“Yeah. He is.” Lisa said unconvincingly.

Lisa wanted to hate Steve. It would make things easier, but she couldn’t. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how much pain he had caused her, she couldn’t. The fact was she didn’t hate him at all. Not even a little bit. She was still in love with him.

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