Wednesday, December 1, 2010


As of Thanksgiving I was on vacation or what I like to call my staycation since technically I'm not going anywhere. It is now Wednesday and I don't want this week to end. Even though I have spent my days cleaning and decorating there is just something about not having to go to work that is refreshing. The black cloud that usually lingers over my head isn't there. My spirits are high, I feel better and  overall I am in a better mood. It's weird how sometimes you just need to get away (in my case staying home) in order to rejuvenate yourself.

 My living room looks awesome. Garland, santa figurines, vases of pointsettas and snowman are everywhere and it only makes me smile when I enter the room. My kitchen is also decked out to the nines. Fake snow on the top of my cabinets with glitter cone trees and caroler figurines. Love it. Now if I can just get my boyfriend to put the lights in the window and throw out our punmpkins I will be set.

I have been watching an insane amount of Christmas movies this week. Usually during the Christmas season I DVR all of the movies I want to watch, but by the time I find a minute to watch them it's March. So this week I was on a mission to DVR and watch as many movies as I can. I love those made for TV Christmas movies. Granted some are awful, but some are really, really good. I think so far I've watched about nine and still have eight or so on my DVR and it's still recording.

Last night I watched the tree lighting and I cannot wait to get into the city to see it this year. It looked absolutely beautiful. And can I just say that Jessica Simpson actually sounded really good. I didn't look at her while she sang because usually she makes these awful faces and it makes it difficult to listen since I'm too busy laughing. So I listened and she did a great job I was impressed. I've always liked her and have always secretly rooted for her so I felt like a proud Mom or more like a proud younger sister.

I had every intention of catching up on my reading during this staycation and can you believe I haven't picked up a single book. I haven't even written more than a chapter this week. I'm enjoying the Christmas sentiment that I can't be bothered with anything else right now. How sad is that? I'm completely caught up in the Christmas whirlwind. However, I must admit that while most know me as Little Miss Christmas the past couple of years I haven't lived up to my nickname. After my grandfather passed away it was hard. Really hard. My spirit was gone. I tried to pretend it wasn't, but those close to me (aka boyfriend) I couldn't fool. December was our month. My birthday is the 4th and his the 7th and for as long as I can remember the family always got together and we shared our birthday on that weekend. I never thought about what it would be like without him and then one day I had no choice but to find out.  

People say as time goes on it gets easier. In the beginning I didn't believe them. Not even for a second and now going on the third December without my grandfather I can honestly say that it does. It still sucks. It still feels like a piece of me is missing, but the large gaping hole that hurt with such intensity has grown smaller. No matter how much time passes December will always be me and my grandfather's month and nothing will ever change that.