Friday, February 17, 2012

Letting It Go Even When It's Hard.

I'm sure you have all had a manuscript you poured your heart into only to finish it and shelf it. I would love a bloghop where we can share excerpts from these gems collecting dust. I just have no idea how to get one started. (Any one in on this) Let's dust them off and show each other a piece of something we love.
I was rereading an old manuscript of mine. For those of you that follow my blog it's from one of the manuscripts in my Forever series-my first attempts at writing a novel. These books will always hold a spot in my heart. They were my first successful attempt at writing a full length book and the first time characters ever spoke to me. The characters spoke to me so much to the point I thought I was crazy and believe it or not they still do. If I ever got to finish the series I know there would be another book and I know exactly how it would go. Unfortunately for now it's not going to happen. But I did want to share one of my favorite scenes from the third book in the series- Nothing is Forever.
 To set it up Steve and Lisa dated and Lisa is best friends with Steve's sister Emma. When Steve was away at college he broke up with Lisa, she fell into a depression and tried to hide behind alcohol. She's sober now. (It's very rough. Lot of dialogue.)
Lisa and Steve before the breakup.

Steve rounded the corner of the house and before Lisa could react he was standing in front of her. In a moment of panic she jumped up from her chair.
“I was just going back in,” she said and went to walk by him.
“Lisa.” Her name slid off his tongue as it always did and she could feel the knots building up in her stomach. 
Why now? She couldn’t help but think. She was frozen. She couldn’t answer him yet she couldn’t seem to get her feet to move. He had a hold on her and she wondered if that hold would always be there.
 “I made a mistake.” The words she had been waiting to hear for months and he finally said them. She still couldn’t move. Her heart was racing, her hands even in the cool November air were sweating.
She could feel him behind her now. “I’m sorry Lisa.” She still didn’t turn around so he kept talking. “When I had a bad day and needed someone to talk to you were the first person to pop into my head. I would go to call you and then I would remember what I did. At night when I was lying in bed alone I wondered what it was that you were doing and if you were just as lonely as I was. I can tell now that you were and I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that.” She could feel his breath on her ear. He was getting closer.
“I waited for you,” Lisa muttered then paused. “I waited for my phone to ring and to hear those exact words. I waited day after day for you to show up on my doorstep and you never did. You never came. I’ve been waiting for two months and now. Now it’s too late.”
“I don’t think it is.” He went to put his hand on her shoulder and then stopped himself.
“You once told me that all you ever wanted was for me to be happy and you would do everything in your power to make me happy.” Lisa found the courage to turn around and face him. “You lied to me.”
“I did, but not on purpose.”
“It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. You can’t take it back and you can’t change anything.”
“I want to make things right with us.” Steve was willing to do anything.
“Like I said it’s too late for us. Maybe in time we can be friends again.”
            “We were never really friends.”
“Yes we were. Before that summer we were.”
“My life didn’t start until that summer.”
“Steve just stop. I can’t do this. I don’t care if you think we belong together and that you made a mistake. You should have thought about that a long time ago.” Lisa couldn’t believe what she was saying but she was protecting her heart.
“I was lonely. I was selfish.”
“And what happens when you go back to school and you’re lonely again. I can’t go through with it again Steve. I just can’t, not again. The pain of losing you broke me and I refuse to allow it to happen again. I’m sorry.” Lisa went to walk away but Steve’s hand grabbed her elbow.
She stopped.
Heat radiated up her back as he pressed his chest up against her. “Don’t,” she muttered. He moved around her until he was looking into her eyes. The way only he did.
“I can see you’re not happy. Your eyes give it away they always did. The sparkle the joy it’s missing.”
“I may not be as happy as I once was but I’m content with that.”
“I don’t believe that. You would never settle for second best so why would you now?”
“I told you I can’t go through it again, Steve. I just can’t.”
“But I’ll never do that to you again. I want you and only you.”
            “Steve you said it yourself nothing is forever.” Lisa looked Steve in his eyes for what she assumed would be the last time before walking away. Her eyes burned as tears began to fill in her lids. She wouldn’t let him see her cry. Never again.
Lisa walked inside where Sara had just joined Emma and Devin in front of the landing. Lisa moved by them holding the tears in until she reached the first step. 
Emma could see the despair in Lisa’s face as could Sara. The two girls looked at each other when Steve walked in with defeat radiating off of him. Sara didn’t wait to hear Steve’s side instead she ran up the stairs after Lisa.
“What did you do? What did you say to her?” Emma demanded but before Steve could speak she continued. “Steve you weren’t here. You didn’t have to see how much she suffered. I am finally getting my friend back. Don’t mess it up.” Emma was angry yet more concerned with her friend so she left Steve at the bottom of the stairwell confused and heartbroken.
 However, when Emma got to the top of the staircase she looked down at Steve and left him with some final advice, “Just let her go Steve,” then she was gone. Steve didn’t realize Devin was still standing there. He was too concerned with Lisa.
If he really did break her was it possible for her to ever heal? Or would the wound always be there, a constant reminder of what their love could do to her?

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Do you have a WIP you love, but know that for now it has to stay on the shelf?


  1. Right now I'm thinking about putting on the shelf the WIP I was just working on. (Hey, Kelley if you're out there, I'm talking about the one you read up to chapter 8 lol - oh, it's the one from the VD's bloghop, about 2 Victors lol).
    Yeah, I love the damn thing but, beside some partial and full requests, it ended nowhere. Actually, I still have a partial out, but my hopes for that are very, very low.
    I have ideas to revise it and strengthen it, but I don't think it's the moment for that. I think I need some distance from that MS ...
    I should start a new wip and dig in it, but I seem lost. Besides all the thousands of ideas, none sounds THAT good ... not compared to said ms I'm about to shelf away.
    Anyway ... here I am, on your blog, venting about my problems lol
    Concluding: I know how you feel.
    Perhaps someday we'll be able to go back to those gems ;)

    1. I think sometimes the best thing to do is step aside. Then you can go back to it with a clear mind. I wouldn't give up on it yet. You've had interest and that is huge! And you can vent anytime. It's refreshing to know we're not alone. :)

    2. I'm here Juliana!

      Bummer girl! I loved that story! And the scene I read on your blog for the Its getting Hot in Here bloghop was SO awesome.

      But Theresa's right...sometimes we just need time. I say that about my three other shelved MS. Someday I might go back to them...who knows :)

  2. I would love a bloghop of this! I still love the first MS I wrote but so much time passed between the writing and editing stages that my writing had really grown and the only way to do that story justice would be to completely rewrite it! Which I don't think I could ever face. But I do still love it :)

    1. That's the exact problem with my 1st WIP. I read it now and I realize all the beginner mistakes I made and to rewrite would be a huge undertaking and I'm not sure it will pay off. But like you I still and will always love it. Maybe one day we'll revisit them.

  3. That is a wicked idea for a bloghop, and I'd be in for sure! I don't think they are too hard to set up - it's pretty much posting about it, getting a Linky list, and making a pretty graphic - all of which are pretty simple!

    I have many stories sitting on shelves, just waiting for me to have time to get to them - and I will eventually lol!

    1. The more I think about it the more I want to do it. I would love to read an excerpt from one of the stories you have sitting on the shelf.

  4. Beautiful excerpt. I also have a First Novel Ever that has now been shelved, and it's sad because I poured my heart into it and rewrote it and even had agents show interest, then reject it, of course. But I think it was essential for me to learn more about what it really takes to write a novel. A bloghop sounds like a fabulous idea! I've never hosted one either, but if you're looking for someone to host it with, I'm down! :D I totally get it if you want to do it by yourself too, so no worries. I know Janice Foy who did my blog design also designs those button/badge things and you could get her to design one for your bloghop, if you wanted. Her website is

    1. Cortney I think that is an awesome idea. I would love a partner in crime. I'll get in touch with you about it in the beginning of next week :) And have I ever told you I love your blog design!

  5. I love the idea of a blogfest for those 'put away' novels. I know I have one! Most of it stinks, but I still love it. :)
    I liked your scene, too. Poor things. :(

    1. I'm with you on the most of it stinks part but still it's close to the heart. I think this bloghop has to happen.

      And thanks for reading the scene :)I put those poor guys through hell.

  6. Ohhh... nice excerpt.

    Putting away my last story was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Truth! It's heart breaking. Thanks for this... it was lovely :D

    1. Thank you :) It is heartbreaking to have to put away something you worked so hard on. I think that's why a bloghop would be great. It would let us dust them off and revist our favorite characters even if it is just for a day.

  7. I wrote my first ms and loved it. My CP loved it too. Within 3 hours of sending out my very first query, I got a request for a full. I sent it. The agent emailed 3 months later telling me what I need to change and to let her know when I completed the changes. That took me 9 months, but I did it. She requested the partial, then the full. I thought for sure it was in the bag. Then she rejected it. Said everything was there, but it wasn't her cup of tea. I sent out more queries and nothing. So it's being shelved for now. :(

    1. Okay that sucks :( At least I know mine sucks. Yours obviously doesn't! A full request from the first query is insane! I wouldn't give up on it. I'm sure one day it will be on the bookshelves :)

  8. I put my first WIP on the shelf but I have dusted off a little bit then went back to my current WIP. Wow, sounds like a lot of bouncing around. It's hard to put something aside you worked so hard on.

    1. I'm constantly bouncing around. I usually have two or more WIP's going at any given time. And it really is hard to put it aside, but I like to look at them now as growing experiences. I needed to write them to get to where I am today. I might even think that about my current WIP in the future. You just never know.

  9. I love the idea of a bloghop like this. Oh Sacrifice...:) haha

    1. I think I'm going to give it a shot, then other people can read at least a little something of Sacrifice. Not that it should be sitting on a shelf. I really loved that story :)