The moment you decide you want to be a writer you're faced with nothing but hurdles. Writing the book for one, revising, rewriting, finding an agent, finding an editor and then the revising and rewriting starts all over. Getting published is always the end goal, but what do you after you're published?
My pub day was full of excitement. I was tweeting and Facebooking and talking to so many awesome people. It lasted for about a week and then it plateaued. Then I was left wondering, what now? Almost six years of my life was dedicated to getting published and it finally happened yet now I'm more insecure than ever.
Eric, my boyfriend to those that don't know, doesn't understand. He keeps telling me I finally got what I've been working for for so long and I should be over the moon happy. And he's right, but no matter how hard I try to be, I can't be. I'm so scared of the future. What if I can't sell another book? What if I never find my audience? What if my ultimate dream of quitting my job and becoming a full time writer never happens?
All these questions and doubts have been a black cloud over my head. And what makes it worse is that I did it. I actually did it. I should be walking on rainbows, and I feel guilty for not feeling that way. I've been dealing with a whirlwind of emotions as I'm sure you can tell from this post. And you're probably wondering what's the point of this? The point is getting published isn't the end goal. It's just the beginning. It took me getting published to finally realize that.
I have so many new goals now. And it's time I stop letting the doubts get to me. *deep breath* I got this.
This turned into more like a diary entry than a blog post. Thanks for reading! What are your goals?